


Amestrian Crisis

by DownInTheGutter



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Fuhrer Roy Mustang, Humor, Letters, M/M, Mustang's Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 03:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14782604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DownInTheGutter/pseuds/DownInTheGutter
Summary: Team Mustang has a difficult time while Riza is away.





	Amestrian Crisis

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea in my head for a while  
> This was very much inspired by episode "The Flame Alchemist, the Bachelor Lieutenant, and the Mystery of Warehouse 13" (in which they all spy on Mustang and it's hilarious)  
> Hope you enjoy

_Lieutenant Hawkeye,_

_I hope your vacation is going well, and that this letter finds you in good health. As promised, we are keeping an eye on Fuhrer Mustang in your absence. So far, he has not been avoiding his duties. I am attaching a detailed report on his recent activities._

_Sincerely,_

_Vato Falman_

_PS Edward Elric has returned from his travels and is due to visit Central soon. I will give him your regards._

 

_Dear Lieutenant,_

_I hope you’re enjoying your vacation; it’s certainly well-deserved. How is Creta treating you?_

_We’re all very happy to have Edward back with us; things haven’t been the same without him. Apparently, he plans to stay for a while, so you’ll get to see him after you come back, too._

_Kind regards,_

_Kain Fuery_

_PS Black Hayate misses you terribly, but not as much as we do._

 

_Dear Lieutenant Hawkeye,_

_I bet your vacation’s going great. I have to say, I’m kind of jealous, I’ve heard the Cretan beaches are to die for._

_Since you wanted us to spy on the Fuhrer, I have to report that he’s been pretty distracted since Edward came back. More information to follow._

_Regards,_

_Heymans Breda_

 

_Lieutenant,_

_I hope you’re enjoying your time off. I don’t want to bother you, but you did ask us to report on the Chief. I think he’s pining after Edward, and I mean pining hard. He has been doodling hearts all over the paperwork, including the peace treaty with Drachma. It was the only copy._

_All the best,_

_Havoc_

_PS Are you getting us souvenirs?_

_Lieutenant Hawkeye,_

_I am sorry to say things have not been going as smoothly as you’d hope._

_Edward is wearing his hair down today. As of the time of writing this letter, the Fuhrer has been staring at him for three hours. Needless to say, the work has stagnated and productivity has plummeted. We could certainly use your help._

_Sincerely,_

_Vato Falman_

 

_Lieutenant Hawkeye,_

_We had a minor incident today. Please ignore anything you might read in the press. A more detailed letter to follow._

_Sincerely,_

_Vato Falman_

 

_Lieutenant Hawkeye,_

_As per my last letter, the Fuhrer only suffered a minor injury._

_Major Elric entered the office wearing, to put it mildly, a parody of the Amestrian military uniform, which I personally found unbecoming. Even Lieutenant Havoc seemed quite shaken._

_Upon seeing Major Elric, the Fuhrer walked into a wall and knocked himself out. Ever since his appearance in the infirmary, we had been denying rumours of terrorist attacks and assassination attempts. The situation is under control, but far from ideal. Major Elric apparently finds it hilarious._

_Sincerely,_

_Vato Falman_

_PS Have you made arrangements for your trip back?_

_Dear Lieutenant,_

_Havoc is depressed again. Apparently, he never managed to convince any girl to wear the costume Ed showed up in, and Fuhrer Mustang didn’t even have to ask. He’s been moping around the office for days. Not sure why he’s jealous since the Fuhrer nearly got a concussion, but you know Havoc. It’s all kind of funny but also really sad. We could really use your help._

_Regards,_

_Heymans Breda_

 

_Lieutenant,_

_Life is cruel and unfair._

_All the best,_

_Havoc_

 

_Dear Lieutenant Hawkeye,_

_The situation is becoming rather dire. Yesterday Breda walked into the Fuhrer’s office without knocking first. We don’t know what he saw, but he hasn’t spoken since._

_Kind regards,_

_Kain Fuery_

_PS We’re starting to suspect you haven’t been responding on purpose._

 

_Lieutenant,_

_Please come back._

_Sincerely,_

_Falman, Kain, Breda, Havoc_

**Author's Note:**

> The costume Ed is wearing is like those slutty nurse ones except it's the Amestrian uniform (there's probably a miniskirt)


End file.
